Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

Our review of the fifth (theatrical) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film, first in a rebooted series from Paramount Pictures and the production company Platinum Dunes. It was inevitable…


3 thoughts on “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)”

  1. It’s weird but my major complaint about this movie?

    Why the hell aren’t ninjas cool enough to be fought by the Turtles as is?

    Maybe make them ROBOT Ninjas. Haven’t seen that before.

    Eh? Eh?

    Oh and I can’t wait for your NewFriday review.

    1. I can wait. I learned the patience of the grave from my father, the hero.

      The answer, of course, is “brand recognition.” Ninjas are passe, my friend. Haven’t you heard? Because I absorbed this through the aether…”felt a great disturbance in the Force,” you might say…around 2005. Hell, I was surprise Snake Eyes made it into the G.I. Joe reboot. Which, in spite of his presence, I will continue to take great pleasure in ragging on for as long as I can get away with.

      But, yes – if that’s your major complaint, that’s pretty weird. But then again, who am I to talk?

      1. We are comparing this movie to the fact the Turtles having gone to some pretty dark places over the years, including a singing road show. This is the turtles having been reduced to the song, as you say, but: April is a reporter, one-dimensional or not–the Turtles personalities are right, and they are a bunch of mutant ninjas.

        So, Eric Sacks (Oroku Saki–even bigger evidence there) and Black Water Foot Clan are my complaints because they are the blandest, dumbest example of villains they could manufacture. The fact they DID bother to make Shredder Japanese, though, showed a care of SOME SORT existed even if it was badly mishandled. Yet, this is the clueless bumblings of a dad getting his fourteen year old daughter a Strawberry Shortcake playset. An attempt was made to do something accurate even if drained of all talent, creativity, or skill.

        It’s just your example, “Eric Sacks is the Green Goblin” would have been a better movie as the Green Goblin vs. the Turtles sounds pretty fun actually.

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