How could I not review Halloween on Halloween? And how could a movie this predictable hurt so much?
8 thoughts on “Halloween: Resurrection (2002)”
Worst Halloween movie ever? I don’t think so. Halloween 5 still holds that title and will continue to hold that title for one simple reason. Tina. It would take the combined power of the 10 most annoying rappers in history to even try to challenge Tina.
A fair point…but at least with Tina the Replacement Rachel I felt something…blind, spitting, naked hatred, but still – more than the whole lot of nothing I felt for the Dangertainment kids. They’re just so damn bland I can barely work up the energy to despise them, and I can say in all certainty that, when it comes to Revenge‘s cast of Dead Meat, I’ll never have that problem.
That’s “Kevin Williamson’s sappy teen series Dawson’s Creek” to us plebs, though it seems she joined the cast the year this came out, way after my time watching the show. To be brutally honest, I never made it much past the second episode. My Maudlin Bullshit O’Meter was still undergoing repairs after it exploded on contact with Party of Five. Which is really too bad, since the bad experience kept me away from any teen-centric series for quite some time. Didn’t even jump on the Buffy train until the near-end of Season 3 (Spring, 1999), despite that show being scientifically designed to please me.
After watching you review, I’m glad I’ve kept up my policy of only watching Halloween ’78 and pretending a greater Halloween “franchise” (i.e. attempts to expand a story that probably wasn’t supposed to last more than one movie) doesn’t exist. Nor do the remakes.
I will probably check out H20, though. If only for my vague memory of seeing the video box cover at my elementary school. My Catholic elementary school.
Sweet, Jesus, why didn’t I think of that before? A Catholic elementary school? That’s what Laurie took over and transformed into Dawson’s Prep.
But seriously, now that I’ve reviewed them all I can honestly call H20 the least-irritating Halloween sequel yet. Not cover-worthy praise, I know, but it’s the best they ever managed to do with the Continuing Adventures of Michael Myers and Laurie Strode. I gave up hope for this franchise producing its own Jason Lives or Dream Warriors after Curse lived up to its title, wasting what few good ideas got to screen. Better, really, to do what you do and pretend Halloweens 2-10 are some madman’s fever dream.
you are too kind. Fever dream? How ’bout delirium tremens? Although, really, I’ve always thought Carpenter’s tale rather dull. Psycho, Peeping Tom, Black Christmas-even hearkening back to M. These all had a…flair, a stamp. To my mind, Carpenter achieved that only once-The Thing. And if H20 had come before Scream, and had a good director (Steve Miner?!), perhaps it could have clicked. Alas,it too was rather dull. Good ideas,hampered by a script that tried to continue the Scream angle and just couldn’t make it past the dollar signs searing someone’s eyes.
The “franchise”, in short,stumbled before it even left the corral.
Carpenter achieved an easily-grasped spectacle with The Thing, but as far as flair goes, he’s had that all his life. Its power wanned as his ability to find good actors, but it’s never deserted him, reaching its peak three times, to my estimation – with Halloween, They Live and Big Trouble in Little China.
H20, on the other hand, we can totally agree on. Indeed, this series jumped more sharks earlier than any of its major competitors.
Worst Halloween movie ever? I don’t think so. Halloween 5 still holds that title and will continue to hold that title for one simple reason. Tina. It would take the combined power of the 10 most annoying rappers in history to even try to challenge Tina.
A fair point…but at least with Tina the Replacement Rachel I felt something…blind, spitting, naked hatred, but still – more than the whole lot of nothing I felt for the Dangertainment kids. They’re just so damn bland I can barely work up the energy to despise them, and I can say in all certainty that, when it comes to Revenge‘s cast of Dead Meat, I’ll never have that problem.
It escaped my memory that Bianca Kajlich was in this. The last thing I remember her from was the sappy teen series Dawson’s Creek.
That’s “Kevin Williamson’s sappy teen series Dawson’s Creek” to us plebs, though it seems she joined the cast the year this came out, way after my time watching the show. To be brutally honest, I never made it much past the second episode. My Maudlin Bullshit O’Meter was still undergoing repairs after it exploded on contact with Party of Five. Which is really too bad, since the bad experience kept me away from any teen-centric series for quite some time. Didn’t even jump on the Buffy train until the near-end of Season 3 (Spring, 1999), despite that show being scientifically designed to please me.
After watching you review, I’m glad I’ve kept up my policy of only watching Halloween ’78 and pretending a greater Halloween “franchise” (i.e. attempts to expand a story that probably wasn’t supposed to last more than one movie) doesn’t exist. Nor do the remakes.
I will probably check out H20, though. If only for my vague memory of seeing the video box cover at my elementary school. My Catholic elementary school.
Sweet, Jesus, why didn’t I think of that before? A Catholic elementary school? That’s what Laurie took over and transformed into Dawson’s Prep.
But seriously, now that I’ve reviewed them all I can honestly call H20 the least-irritating Halloween sequel yet. Not cover-worthy praise, I know, but it’s the best they ever managed to do with the Continuing Adventures of Michael Myers and Laurie Strode. I gave up hope for this franchise producing its own Jason Lives or Dream Warriors after Curse lived up to its title, wasting what few good ideas got to screen. Better, really, to do what you do and pretend Halloweens 2-10 are some madman’s fever dream.
Sir,
you are too kind. Fever dream? How ’bout delirium tremens? Although, really, I’ve always thought Carpenter’s tale rather dull. Psycho, Peeping Tom, Black Christmas-even hearkening back to M. These all had a…flair, a stamp. To my mind, Carpenter achieved that only once-The Thing. And if H20 had come before Scream, and had a good director (Steve Miner?!), perhaps it could have clicked. Alas,it too was rather dull. Good ideas,hampered by a script that tried to continue the Scream angle and just couldn’t make it past the dollar signs searing someone’s eyes.
The “franchise”, in short,stumbled before it even left the corral.
Carpenter achieved an easily-grasped spectacle with The Thing, but as far as flair goes, he’s had that all his life. Its power wanned as his ability to find good actors, but it’s never deserted him, reaching its peak three times, to my estimation – with Halloween, They Live and Big Trouble in Little China.
H20, on the other hand, we can totally agree on. Indeed, this series jumped more sharks earlier than any of its major competitors.