Carrie (2013)

At long last, we present our review of the 2013 remake of Carrie. This concludes Carrie-athon 2013, which began with Brian De Palma’s original 1976 film, 1999′s little-remembered The Rage: Carrie 2 and 2002′s best-forgotten made-for-TV remake/backdoor pilot for a series that never aired. With any luck, we’ll have another thirty-seven years before we see another one of these. By then, the “necessary” “updates” to the material might actually be necessary, instead of superficial… Continue reading

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Frozen (2013)



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Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

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Blipocalypse, How? Notes toward a history of internet video hosting

pissonblip

Image courtesy of freakandnitro.com

On May 28, 2014, I woke to find the following message in my Inbox: “Important Change to Your Blip Account,” the subject line said, and I hereby award it AYTIWS’ coveted “No Shit, Sherlock” Award for 2014. Sorry, everyone, but that contest is over. We all lose.

The rest of the message read:

“We are writing to inform you that, due to recent changes at Blip, we will be closing your account. On July 7th, 2014 we will downgrade your account and no longer accept uploads. On September 1, 2014 your account will be deactivated and you will no longer have access to the Blip dashboard or your content. Your videos will be removed from our system at this time.”

Even though I asked what “recent changes at Blip” led them to this decision, I already knew the answer: they’re trying to become a TV network, despite the fact their own internal studies tell them (and the world) that people are fleeing TV in droves. They’re bringing their TV viewing habits with them (watching during prime time, after they’ve gotten off work, eaten dinner, and are trying to ignore their families) and they’re willing to suffer through an ad at the start of someone’s show…but the last thing they want is a recreation of the landscape they left behind. Yet that is exactly what my video host has spent the last two years pushing.

The reasons for this are rooted in Blip’s founding, almost ten years ago, and in the vast changes since that have completely altering the internet landscape several times over. Continue reading

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X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

The trade paperback cover...

The trade paperback cover…

In all the annuls of X-Men history, no creative team is so beloved as the human one-two punch that was Chris Claremont and John Byrne. Between 1977 and ’81, those two turned a no-class, Rainbow Coalition of E-, F-, and G-list characters into the X-Men we know, love, and occasionally loathe today: the Gold Standard of Superhero Team Soap Operatics. And out of all the stories they made together – Claremont writing, Byrne drawing, both arguing over which character should die that month – none is more beloved than “Days of Future Past.”

Except, of course, for the Phoenix Saga. Which X-Men: The Last Stand fucked right up. Now, the screenwriter most directly responsible for that mess (at least, according to the WGA), Simon Kinberg, has teamed with the director of Superman Returns to bring us this. My cup runeth over. Continue reading

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Godzilla (2014)

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A Podcast From The After Movie Diner: Reborn

Winter Soldier

As has become tradition, I sat down with the Supreme British Intelligence and All-Around Awesome Man of Action Jon Cross, inside his After Movie Diner, to discuss the latest superhero shenanigans. Our conversation began with Captain America: The Winter Soldier and, as has also become tradition, spread out from there to touch upon almost all aspects of modern superheroic entertainment. Including, but not limited to, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (Jon stopped watching before Jamie Alexander showed up, poor man) the Marvel One-Shot short films, its upcoming Netflix original series, its upcoming (rumored) regular TV series, and even a few comic books, while we’re at it.

Listen above, or Download the Episode Directly Here (right click, “save target as”)

You can be a friend, find, rate and review Jon’s show in all the following right places:

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/podcast-from-after-movie-diner/id452996435?mt=2

Stitcher Smart Radio:http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/after-movie-diner/the-podcast-from-the-after-movie-diner

Talkshoe: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/110745

and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiOpzQLTKBs

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Godzilla vs. Hedorah (1971)

So it came to pass that greed and short-sighted foolishness saved Godzilla from an early death after 1968′s Destroy All Monsters. The next year’s entry, Godzilla’s Revenge, was a half-thought-out desperation play, rushed into theaters before anyone could notice just how final the final shots of Destroy All Monsters really were…especially that long pull-back of Godzilla and Son as the two literally wave goodbye to the camera…

Bye-bye! See you next film!

Bye-bye! See you next film!

…as much as they could in those suits. Continue reading

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Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

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Gamera vs. Jiger (1970)

"As you can see here, there's a flaw built right into the heart of this series..."

“As you can see here, there’s a flaw built right into the heart of this series…”

This, the sixth Gamera film, (released in the U.S. as Gamera vs. Monster X) is really the third part in a Pentalogy that ends the series, all following the same basic outline. A New Monster arises, Gamera loses his first fight, and spends half the movie down for the count as the Military/Scientific/Industrial Complex fails to combat the latest kaiju threat. A pair of Annoying Kids (one Japanese, on Token Anglo), Designated as Our Duel Protagonists, take it upon themselves to deal with a human-sized problem, and their plucky spirits rouse Gamera, Friend to All Children, from his mid-movie stupor. He wins the Climactic Battle as the Kids watch from Minimum Safe Distance, ruining the fun for everyone with their high-pitched color commentary. Cue credits.

With this one, I can’t even escape the opening credits without deducting points for stock-footage. Someone’s mom obviously told them to “put their best foot forward,” but I doubt “reuse fight scenes from the previous five films” is what she really meant. In fairness, the is the last we’ll see of previous battles…though not, as I’ll discuss later, the last time we’ll see stock footage. However, Gamera vs. Jiger can still boast the least amount of stock footage in any Gamera film since Gamera vs. Gaos. Marvel at that for a moment. It’s almost as if Team Gamera enjoyed a budget increase after their success with vs. Viras and vs. Guiron. If so, it only accelerated Daiei Studios collapse into bankruptcy. But we’ve one more film before that happens. Continue reading

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